At least some i-bankers can recognise a bad deal :)

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  1. #1

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    At least some i-bankers can recognise a bad deal :)

    Apparently from a forum exchange... read the reply

    一名JP Morgan I-banker 對港女既回應
    [隱藏]
    下面係一段ibanker 回覆一名港女(性格)既email, very interestin:

    FROM THE LADY:
    What am I doing wrong?

    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 - 150. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.



    THE ANSWER (from the ibanker)

    Dear Pers-:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard tobelieve that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

    ____________
    Rob Campbell
    J.P.Morgan
    Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
    277 Park Avenue, 16/F, New York , NY 10172


  2. #2

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    This was a "best of Craigslist" post from 2005 or before.


  3. #3

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    wonder if he is still pulling in 500K and wonder who this woman hooked up with.
    Posted via Mobile Device


  4. #4

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    He He love the post!

    I could add a few more things....

    1) These "plain" looking women may have been with the guy before he became rich-so they deserve to be with him for dating with him at through the hard times at the start-and they will probably stay with him if he falls into hard times in the future-unlike this woman.

    2) These "plain" looking women probably have very nice personalilties and are at least tolerable to live with, have a family with and are very loving and caring etc-things which this woman fails to understand.

    3) These "plain" looking women may have been just as pretty at a younger age also-and their current plainess is proof of asset depreciation (as I am sure the guys' looks may also depreciate)!

    4) The wealth may be from these "plain" looking women instead, and not the man, to enable such luxurious living! Or it is the "plain" looking woman and the guy both together in great jobs that contribute equally.

    5) As the saying goes "behind every great man there is a woman"-maybe the plain looking woman helped him reach his fortune through support, teamwork, advice etc

    5) Many guys who earn 500k plus dont have time to play and hang out in bars with fancy high maintenance women like this-and if they do it is for short term purposes only-perhaps she should consider becoming a mistress like the geisha girls in Japan

    6) If she is so beautiful, classy and articulate, then why is she not earning $500K plus herself....?

    7) "Marriage only" means only one thing from this type of woman = divorce with all your money at the first chance. Its so obvious for New York.

    8) A "million" dollars is not "middle class" for New York City. Has she ever been to Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Harlem or anywhere outisde Manhattan Island for that matter...and as the current crunch testifies, many of these apparent millionaires were more like high in debt big spenders.

    9) I have often noticed on many occasions a woman's stated self opinion of her relative beauty etc somewhat exceeds the reality (although other women can also understate themsleves)

    10) I think her and Bernard Madoff would have made a good couple...

    11) Honestly I am not a "plain" looking woman myself putting a boot in!


  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by jgl:
    This was a "best of Craigslist" post from 2005 or before.
    Yes, made the rounds quite a while ago. The economics of the response are a little dodgy, but that does not make it any less funny (or, as some people might argue, could explain why the guy is in IBD).

  6. #6

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    It was nicely written by one and the same writer taking both parts.


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Football16:
    It was nicely written by one and the same writer taking both parts.
    That was the rumor, but apparently not true. IIRC the original post really was on Craigslist, but the "response" was never posted and just transmitted by e-mail.

  8. #8

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    Oh...er....would you believe I once actually encountered a woman who said almost exactly all of this but in London, UK.....