Umbrella wars have begun! :bounce:

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  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Umbrella wars have begun! :bounce:

    A little old lady was in first with a thrust, but I successfully parried, sending a flurry of the wet stuff about her shoulders. I next had to fend off a white-vested delivery guy wielding a huge 58-inch golfer. He came in low, trying to spatter me with the runoff from a shop tarpaulin, but it was too considered a move, and I easily blocked before hitting back with a slight spin that threw large droplets right into his face, spoiling his vision. Not wishing to waste energy on such amateur brolliers, I kept moving, and took advantage of the relative calm to brush my jacket dry and check my stretchers, finding an insidious kink surely resulting from centripetal strain.

    Approaching the MTR entrance, a middle-aged suit had his fat fingers gripped, two-handed, around the thick foam handle of a vented design, possibly a Fenton Stormshield. I had little time to notice, as he closed and engaged me with a hard canopy sidepush from 3 o'clock - a classic all-strength manoeuvre. His low centre of gravity to his advantage, I took a hit on the right leg, trails coursing onto my trouser leg. Desperately, I pushed back, but tragically misjudged the give in my stretchers. Short on practice and equipped with my reserve brolly, I was too enthusiastic in my defence and let out a long, pained groan as I saw my tips flick up and carry over the fat suit's ferrule. As you would expect, with my defence breached, the Fenton came crashing onto my neck, one of the worst stickstrikes I have ever suffered.

    With some pain and a significant spreading wetness, I limped away, thoroughly routed, and reached the relative safety of the MTR, but not before glancing back at my nemesis. Until the next rains, my fat friend. Until the next rains.












    With sincere apologies to anyone who actually bothered to read this...


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Clear Water Bay (In Da Jungle)
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    Haahaa Good stuff Sigga.


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    11,884

    Good stuff

    I find that just sticking up an arm to shield my head is a pretty effective countermeasure. If the umbrella wielder is with a group, this sometimes results in the umbrella spiking someone else in their party for bonus points.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    I do love a planned and perfectly excuted move - She attempts to shoove wet canvas in my face. I palm the ferrule back and results with a 'boink' from the tube striking forehead! I swagger away satisfied.

    Thanks for the actual names of the actual parts Sigga! Must be a slow day!

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    833

    Great piece of writing there from Sigga. Perhaps you should take over from Nury Vittachi in the Standard?


  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    158

    Your articulated piece has made my day. I hate rain in crowded HK.
    Thanks


  7. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    124

    great piece.
    nothing is poor frightening then staring at the umbrellas as seeing all the metal skewers going straight for your eyes.
    I hate being tall.


  8. #8

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    Hong Kong
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    That was hilarious!