"I'm not your real mother" says real mother

[Watercooler]

Amusing (but suspicious) story I read in the SCMP. Apparently, this mother, wanting her daughter to be more "independent", told her a lie that she is not her "real mother" so she will be more independent. A laudable goal, but the method is rather questionable. But something is rather suspicious about this whole story.

The story says the daughter, despite some initial hesitation, believed her all the way until she graduated, only to be told later by her "step-mother" that she indeed is her real mother. Right.... . Did'nt the daughter stop to think all this time about confirming her mother's story? DNA check? Collaboration on sources? Or is she so gullible as to buy whatever her mother says (even into her 20's)? In any case, I'm sure her mother's manipulation work wonders on the trust between herself and her mother...


Excerpt:
A Chinese woman lied to her daughter for over a decade and told her that she was not her real mother - in an effort to cultivate the girl’s independent spirit.

A woman surnamed Shen, a resident of China’s Shenyang city, married a wealthy man and had a young daughter named Cheng Cheng, Shenyang Evening News reported. Their family was well-off, and about 13 years ago, Shen began to fear her daughter was becoming spoiled and arrogant. To stop this behaviour and force her child to be independent, Shen adopted a particularly unorthodox parenting tactic.

“Your real mother died a long time ago,” Shen told Cheng Cheng, who was about to enter fourth grade at the time. “I’m not your real mother. I’m just providing for your education up until you finish university. After that, don’t count on my help anymore."

Cheng Cheng did not believe her mother’s words at first, but after Shen remained adamant in her claims, the young girl became shocked and confused.

This confusion was only temporary. Soon after learning her “real mother” had died and Shen would not be around to provide for her forever, Cheng Cheng began studying harder, and her academic performance improved. Her arrogant traits also began to disappear, and the girl became “sensible and obedient,” the Shenyang Evening News reported.

Eventually, Cheng Cheng chose to attend a boarding school for her secondary education, telling her mother she “wanted to live independently on campus.” This independent nature continued throughout high school, and after passing her university entrance examinations with high marks, Cheng Cheng was accepted into Dalian Jiaotong University with multiple scholarships. After graduating, her high grades earned her a spot at a software company in Shanghai.

Only then did Shen reveal the truth to her daughter. After hearing that her “real mother” had not died and Shen was her biological mother all along, Cheng Cheng was once again baffled. She demanded to know why her mother had lied to her for so long.

“I told you that you weren’t my real daughter back then to encourage you to study,” Shen reportedly told Cheng Cheng. “It was to get you to drop your bad habits…and eventually grow up to find a good job!”

In an interview with Shenyang Evening News reporters, Shen said that she was now proud of her daughter and did not regret anything.

“My daughter is beautiful, she has a successful career making over 6,000 yuan every month and she’s now married to a good husband,” Shen said. “There may be some people who do not agree with my methods, but if I had [told her the truth], she would have just been satisfied in her existing environment and wouldn’t have the motivation and prospects that she has now.”

http://www.scmp.com/news/china-insid...hter-encourage

[Claire ex-ax]

As a now independent person, this person should say "you're not my real mother, so fuck off you bitch!".

[MovingIn07]

With 2 billion people, there are bound to be a few oddballs in China LOL.

[WMDS]

So whose the daddy?

[Morrison]

Friend, neutral person, enemy. People change roles, we must put our love and compassion for others on a more stable foundation.
Widening theCircle of Live
by da Lai Lama

[Watercooler]

So whose the daddy?

Probably too busying banging other ladies to care (like so many rich mainlanders these days) while this "mother" create this story for her daughter. If he did cared for his stepdaughter, you would think he would have caution his wife on it.

[Creative83]

My guess is that this wasn't a 'decision', but things some parents say offhand to manipulate their kids to do what they wanted to. The lie gained momentum as a result of seeing behavior different from the norm and then the mom just went with it.