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Monday - The Great Jesse James

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  1. #1

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    Monday - The Great Jesse James

    Out in the Wild West, Jesse James' gang forces a train to stop, and Jesse climbs on board. He bursts into a passenger car, pulls out his guns, and fires. Blam! Blam! "All right!" he yells. "I'm going to screw all the men and kill all the woman!" Blam! Blam! "That's right!" he growls. "I'm going to screw all the men and kill all the women!"

    A guy in the front row says, "Uh, Mr. James, I think you've got it backwards." Suddenly a high-pitched male voice in the back calls out, "Excuse me, but Mr. James is robbing the train!"

    Boro Boy likes this.

  2. #2

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    ...hahaha...should have posted it first thing this morning...Monday blues have really kicked in now...


  3. #3

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    I'll remember that for next time!!


  4. #4

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    Yuppity yup, it's Mundee 'gain...

    Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
    A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm.

    Q. Did you hear Mattel introduced a "Divorced Barbie"?
    A. She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

    Here you go Boro, nice and early!


  5. #5

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    ...you're early DN, but i'm late today...good, but not as good as Jesse James, mate...keep 'em coming...


  6. #6

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    Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'

    Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

    Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

    Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'

    Billy says, 'Wimbledon.'

    Boro Boy likes this.

  7. #7

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    ...another winner, DN...although its Wednesday now, still worth waiting for...


  8. #8

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    A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."

    The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."

    The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Shut up, Fridge."


  9. #9

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    anyone care to explain the jesse james one? i dun get it...

    MovingIn07 likes this.

  10. #10

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    one day this guy walks into this bar at like 11 am, right when they open, he sits down and says..."bartender, i need 5 shots of tequilla", the bartender looks at him and says, "hey man, its still kinda early to be drinking that hard stuff right off the bat, are you ok? is something wrong?", the guy looks up and says, "i just found out my brother is gay", so the bartender says, "oh man, im so sorry, here you go..5 shots" the man takes his shots and leaves..the next day, same time, same guy walks in and sits down, "bartender, i need 10 shots of tequilla!", the bartender says, "oh man, whats wrong now?", the guy says, "i just found out that my son is gay", so the sympathetic bartender gives him his 10 shots and 2 more on the house. next morning, same time, the same guy walks in, sits down..."bartender, i need 15 shots of tequilla!!". the bartender looks at him and says "good god man, doesnt anybody in your family like women?", the guy replies with a snort, "yeah... my wife does!!"


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