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Need a bit of help here

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  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5

    Need a bit of help here

    I dont usually post on forums like this but I have no other place to ask. I've been reading a bit around here but not posting.

    Short background here:
    I went home to visit family for a month and came back a week ago.
    My wife took off and I found out she has been doing quite a few things behind my back. Screwing around being one of them.

    First: I need to move among other things.. no idea what to do or how. She sorted the house out when I first moved here. Do I just call an agent and look around? Deposits negotiable? Rent negotiable?

    Second:
    Anyone know where a person can go to get a check-up? I don't want to go into details...but I just want to make sure everything is clean if you know what I mean?


    Thanks for any advice


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,043

    1. Make sure your name is not on the lease or if she decides to move you could be liable. Also, make sure the credit cards, etc are all protected. Bank accounts, etc. Act fast.

    2. Checked for STDs or that your credit is ok? TransUnion can give you your credit report. A doctor does the other - lots of posts on clinics.


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast Marina
    Posts
    17,934

    Who is the visa holder here? Your or her? Whose name is the apartment rented under? If you, or both of you, I suggest you throw her out rather than the other way around!

    Re doctors - where are you? My health insurers partner with Quality Heathcare - see here for a list of their clinics - just walk in and wait or ring up for an appointment. Mostly docs are english speaking.

    Quality HealthCare Asia - Contact Us


  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5

    Thanks for the quick response:
    Credit and accounts, I'm not worried about, I made sure all of my stuff was mine and in my name. Plus another CYA account just in case.
    House, bills, everything else is in her name. So I'm good to go there.

    Doc clinic: First time I ever have to do this. But I just want to make sure and get checked.

    I'm here on a dependant visa, my last 2.5 years to HK resident...
    Don't want to leave here, but know I will have to if she pushes a divorce. If I have to I can drag it out as long as I can. She at least owes me that.

    8 years of my life down the toilet...


  5. #5

    Any dr will do that for you. Just go to any clinic and request a test. Quick and far from pain free procedure. So I've 'heard'.
    Posted via Mobile Device


  6. #6

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5

    Thanks everyone for the input.
    A ton of things to get done here, and very confused on what to do first.
    Life is crap


  7. #7

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    1,845

    I know you haven't specifically mentioned this but have you been able to perhaps talk things through with your spouse to get a clearer understanding of where she/he stands in all of this? Theres no telling how things might go from here but may I just say, from exact same personal experience, try to avoid making rash decisions on how to handle the situation until you have thought it through, perhaps talking it out with someone you feel comfortable with like a friend or family member first. You may need clarity of mind before pushing forward. I totally feel for you and know first hand the emotional anguish you must be feeling but try to not let the emotions cloud your judgment at this stage about what may be in your best interest.
    Posted via Mobile Device

    Last edited by Loz_2; 13-05-2010 at 12:45 PM.
    Sleuth likes this.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5

    We tried talking, well I did. I wanted to work on things before I found all of this out.
    But all I get is I am in the way of her life, career and goals. She has a future and doesn't see me in it.
    I can go on for days about her reasons.
    I never drank to much, gamble, chase women, drugs. I work hard.
    The reason is I am just in the way of her life.
    Wish I knew this before I gave everything up to move over here.
    Great career: quit move to Hong Kong!!! Would have been retired in 2 years...Pension for the rest of my life...gone...
    Shame I didn't know this 8 years ago when we met....


  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    151

    You can try this place.

    Men's Health Solutions Centre


  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Fo Tan
    Posts
    2,389

    I agree with Loz_2. Once you burn the bridge, it will be hard to put it back up. And you can always burn the bridge later. Seems 8 years would be worth a conversation or two; you don't want to make a decision that you end up regretting forever.
    Mind you I would still head to the doctor and make sure you are not going to suffer financially.

    Never mind, I was typing whilst you were typing.

    Last edited by Sleuth; 13-05-2010 at 12:57 PM. Reason: saw the new post on this

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